A friend of mine just sent me a txt asking me if I was on msn... I wasn't, which I guess he realised if he was there, but given that I didn't have any credits left on my phone I couldn't txt him back and tell him. I sent him an e-mail telling him I was online, but he never replyed... See, so wasted... I often wondered how life was before mobiles... I can vaguely remember living without one, but it seems like a rather unlikely existence, so I don't think it's true... maybe it was just a bad dream? I still haven't done everything I should tho... mostly because I tried to hunt down a site which allowed me to send free sms. I did find heaps, but there is always something wrong with them, and in the end I gave up. He has probably gone home now anyway, and is sitting at home having dinner with his girlfriend, annoyingly unaware that his txt sent me into a internet frenzy, which has left me frustrated and even more tired...

My eyes don't really work now. They feel like someone has poured sand in them - gritty... But, even tho it's a bit scary to go to the bathroom in the dark, and I have so much to do, I do like sitting up during the night in front of the computer. Somehow I feel really productive, and dedicated (the little fact that I am not productive and dedicated at all just passes me by...). And it feels kind of nice to be up when everyone is asleep. I feel like I have the world for my self... It's all dark outside, and it's really quiet, and the air is cold and crisp... Somewhere, I can hear cars driving, but here, here I am all alone. On a little quiet island in this big noisy world (ok, I will have to admit that there are a couple of rather annoying ghosts sharing this island with me, but since I can't see them, I will disregard them). I am pondering about all the others which are awake now, sitting on their little islands of light. Somewhere out there... There will be other windows with light, other people sitting infront of their computer, having a break from whatever they are doing, looking out of the window, and feel a pleasant calmness...

Sometimes I think I forget to just be... It's too easy to neglect during daytime. Most of the times I am too busy doing something, or if I aren't doing anything, very often I will then be too busy NOT doing something... I should just be more. Nighttimes shouldn't be wasted with sleep or work, nightimes should be used to procrastibate, to think, to be, to stare...